nine months for life

I’d be lying if I say that I was not worried about how our doggies would react to the new baby. The dogs had been our babies so far and I could not imagine that a new human baby would come into our lives. I had heard that whether we like it or not (of course, we would like it ;)), the new baby would soon become the center of our lives (owing mainly to the fact that the baby would be totally dependent on us for every single thing for the next so many years). The side effect? Doggies (no, not the cat) would go lower in the totem pole. And stay there. It hurt in the pits of my stomach.

While the dogs have done great with the baby since the day she was born, there was something amiss. I could not say what. In dog terms, I thought that perhaps we were all still not part of the same “pack” . Perhaps I was right….

I had heard about the benefits of having animals while bringing up babies. Kids that have grown up around pets tend to have lesser allergies (look at me..I cannot even fake an allergy ;)). They end up being more tolerant, compassionate and considerate (look at me ;)…alright, not the tolerant bit :)). It will be a while before I can test these theories with my own little one, so I paid little attention to them. As of a few months back, I really did not see how the pets+kids combo did much else besides generate more work ;)

But NOW it is a whole new story. Sorry, but I have to gloat. Life has been so much fun the past few weeks (barring the sleep deprivation, of course), I just HAVE TO talk about it.
Little “S” will laugh loud and happy when she sees the doggies (and the cat). She loves it when we carry her and run with the dogs in the back yard. She has figured out the she can roll all around from one dog to the other when she is on the floor of the great room. She will “talk” to them since she has figured that they “respond” to her. Charlie very often comes and sits right by her too. Iris, he crazy one, will bring her tennis ball and put it in front of her. Lucky (the cat) will come by and rub his head against her hand …and she will promptly respond by holding his ears and trying to eat him ;) … ( I know what you folk without pets are thinking ;) …NO, we folk with pets really do not let our babies EAT our animals ..so you rest easy there !)

It has been just six months since we had “S” and we are back to being a family again …sitting around together, eating together and playing together. Very soon, we will be going on walks together (will spring ever be here ???).

One happy family …just bigger but back in action!

Sara of the Juggle asks her readers: Would different choices earlier have made your juggle (managing career+family) easier?

Besides being informed, I am not sure anything else would have made my Juggle easier.
I have not heard anyone say, “I did 1,2,3,4 and 5 …and really, my childrearing has been such a breeze!”.

I am not so sure. I am not even sure that the question Sara asks makes much sense at all.

Here is why …

I really think it is the choices that I now, AFTER I have started my juggle, that have the power to make all the difference. It is the little things. It is about making decisions that let you enjoy your “today” and your babies, dogs and spouses that make all the difference. It is all about realizing where to draw the line. It is about accepting the fact that you are not a superhuman.
EVERYONE can juggle, but is everyone a super juggler? Is everyone with a seemingly super juggling act actually happy and content?

After all, it is not about the juggle …it is about enjoying life and sooner or later the juggle will take care of itself.

If there is anything called a “New Mom Syndrome”, I think I have certainly fallen prey to it. Alas, I am like every other new mom although it has taken me a few months to accept it ;). In my past life (before-baby as in BB), I wondered why women who became moms did the things they did. I am now guilty of a number of new-mommyisms myself and here goes my list of confessions:

* I cut my hair. As soon as I was back home from the hospital and could say day apart from night, I went out and cut my hair. That does not mean I know why women who just popped babies do that, however.

* Way too many new moms I have know run marathons. I guess this has to do with trying to clear the chaos in our brains ;). I have always been a yoga kind of person but one morning I woke up and just felt this incredible urge to start running …maybe I will run a 5K or two this year ….

* Turn to food for solace? I rarely ate for comfort before, but now I am always famished, always hungry and can always use some butter and dessert with my meals.

* Okay …I love to talk about my baby. And yes, I do it in the hallway, in the cafeteria, in my office, on the road …even with strangers at the stores and the post office! Yuk!

* I have fallen in love with oatmeal all over again. But slowly I am learning that Oatmeal is the only thing that sticks by me, through thick and thin …

* I thought I would die of less sleep and my body and mind would just shrivel and disappear, but my “system has learnt to handle it” …like so many parents told me their systems did when they had their little ones .

* I also thought I would die if I did not get my retail therapy at least once every 2 weeks. Strangely, I am very alive and kicking …the fact that I dress like a mess is another story ;)

* This one hurts ;) …but I have got to admit that I look at baby pictures at work.

I can go on less sleep but I really need to curl up now …

Later Gator!

Three months before my little one was born, I bought the Baby Einstein 20 DVD set on Ebay. I was so convinced that I would need them. There was no reasoning really. Just that I had “heard” a lot about them. I did not question myself much at all.

Out pops my baby and something happens…I start to question EVERYTHING.

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. I hear that having babies does this to us ( amongst other things ;))

And so, I questioned Einstein. Baby Einstein.
I questioned it quietly though …within the confines of my brain and my home. I did not want to engage in any debate before I had the Einstein experience myself. I watched a couple of dvds and had Savi watch them too. She just stared. She was mildly captivated. She did not coo or laugh when she watched them. It did not seem like a big deal. I was secretly relieved …;)

As the weeks pass, my little one is less and less interested in the Baby Einstein dvds. (Oh no! she is not going to be a genius ;)). She loves watching the dogs and the cat instead. She bursts into laughter when the dogs get close to her. She is all smiles when I enact her nursery rhymes ….

So, I had forgotten all Baby Einstein until I talked about it with a friend a couple of nights back. I googled all around and found a pretty thorough article on the Mothering website. It is a great read. While(unlike the author Ann) I am not set one way or the other about my kids watching TV, I do believe that my child does not yet need to watch TV since there is plenty she can learn just by interacting with us on a daily basis. I have no justifiable NEED for Baby Einstein.

So for now, I choose to shelve the Baby Einstein DVDs. But I would like to hear from folk who think their babies actually benefited in definite ways from watching these DVDs and why? I wonder if there is a way to give my little one the minimum amount of time with Einstein to make sure that she will be a “well-rounded genius” ?? Okay, that is an oxymoron …but you know what I mean ;)
Or do people out there think I should shelve these DVDs forever and forget they even existed???

It has happened too many times for it to be a coincidence anymore. Way too many times.

Almost every milestone that Savi has reached was first reached when she lay butt naked on the bathroom floor (don’t you worry, there is a playmat under her butt). Is there a hidden lesson here?

Couple of nights back, Savi finally rolled over from her back to on to her tummy for the first time. And then, in the next half hour, she had done it at least ten more times. Watching her made it seem obvious that her bare bottom had a hand in it … I wish someone was there to watch ! ( I am telling you there wasn’t anyone else …just in case you comeback and ask for proof ;) …except Lucky …but then, cats are big liars :)) . It seemed like she needed to put the technique into action just once and then it was all about perfecting it.

I suggest all we parents do a little research study here …give all newborns some “bare butt time” everyday and then track their development. We might actually see that they reach some physical milestones sooner merely because we are not tasking them with doing things in their lives, for the very first time, wearing what seems to be a space suite around their already somewhat chubby bottoms ;). Seems obvious when I word it that way, doesn’t it ?

Bottom line.? Savi is going to have a lot of “bare butt time” going forth…since I am fairly convinced that I have a point here. She might have a bone to pick with me when she gets older ….but then, she’ll have plenty of those and hopefully I will have learnt how to deal with her by then ;)

Now that we do more than just lying around, the weekends are getting more “active”. With it being the coldest weekend of the season so far, it has been up to mother goose (yes, that’s me) to get creative and figure out what all this “little person” can do over the weekend.

Now, you have got to remember that unlike babies, “little people” don’t get fooled. You cannot make fleeting baby sounds and get away with it. These activities have gotto be the REAL STUFF.

So these are what I came up with …and the reasons I think they work.

1. Fold the laundry: Put the washed and dried clothes about 5 feet from baby. Fold them high up in the air. If possible wave them around making different shapes in the air. Narrate what you are doing at every step.
Pros:
- Laundry gets folded ;)
- Hopefully, “folding laundry” gets wired into the baby circuitry and your child will willingly do/fold her laundry for the rest of her life ;)
- Improvising and adding activities such as Peek-a-Boo into this activity is extremely easy
- Clean clothes can double up as teethers
Cons:
- It does not work unless you narrate every single step …animated is even better ;)
- You have to be ready to face reality …If it absolutely does not work, it could imply that your wardrobe sucks ;)

2. Read the Sunday Paper: Pile up Sunday ads on your side. Put baby on your lap,facing forward. Read one ad at a time.
Pros:
- You get your window shopping done
- You save money and learn to tell yourself that you are just so happy to be fitting into your old clothes that you really don’t need any new ones.
- Baby reads the newspaper …you might be instilling a great habit in your baby ;)
- Ads are bright and the paper crackles … babies love that
Cons:
- Colorful ads do NOT double up as teethers
- The house is a big mess …it is a lot harder to recycle little bits of paper strewn allover the bed/floor.
- You do not have the luxury to check any ad i any greater detail since stopping for more than 10 seconds on a page might really irritate the baby.

3. Dance to the music (baby music and nursery rhymes, that is):
Pros:
- Your daily workout!
- I would love to think that babies get a sense of rythm when you do things like this ;)
Cons:
- Itsy Bitsy Spider???? C’mon!
- Things like this might kill the little social skills or social life you have left ;)

4. Pet the pets
Pros:
- You come to remember that the animals walking around in the house used to be your babies at one point.
- You throw your touch-and-feel baby books away.
- They love this activity - baby, cat, dogs and all!
Cons:
- Tufts of hair in little baby hands? Hmm, not good!
- You throw your touch-and-feel baby books!

5. Check email

6. Watch the news on TV

7. Stare baby in face

5,6 and 7 are really not recommended. Seriously. While they might work, guilt is almost a sure side-effect ;)

Any fun activities I can add to this? Do let me know :)